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While beauty editors assure us that it is now perfectly acceptable to be pale, everyone knows this only applies if you're the model Lara Stone (aka Mrs David Walliams). This summer alone I've undergone an ill-advised 'contouring' spray tan, which left me with white shins and calves somewhere around 'Dale Winton' on the colour chart.

I have worn skinny jeans under floaty dresses while the thermometer nudged 90 degrees and was even experimenting with a naked leg until my four-year-old opined that my broken veins looked 'really cool - like Spider-Man's web'.

So how in the world did this unloved underpinning ever find its way back from fashion purgatory where it has languished since the 1980s under the unloved moniker of 'granny tights'?I would, as a rule of thumb (or, rather, leg), avoid anything billed as 'tan' or 'natural tan'.Unless you're of a naturally Katie-Price hue, then you're in danger of looking like an American cheerleader. The shade may be perfect, the denier like fairy wings, but a length of nylon hanging from your sandals will give you away every time. We always called my grandmother Babchi (bop-chee) or Baba (Bah-bah) and my grandfather was Dadju (Dah-jooh).I was always told that Baba was Ukrainian and Babchi was Russian. When our first g-child was born, we pondered, as Busia (which signifies "old" to me) and Bunia were taken.

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The $125,000 dwelling is being marketed as an alternative arrangement for people struggling to provide adequate care for the aging relatives since assisted living communities have become stigmatized and inviting an elderly relative a spot in the home can prove a squeeze.

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